There are so many reasons not to have a wedding. Weddings tend to bring up otherwise dormant family issues, and they’re ridiculously expensive, not to mention time consuming and stressful. So then why did I disregard all the naysayers, including my very own husband, and willingly choose to have a second wedding?

To understand my decision, allow me to explain the circumstances surrounding my first wedding. It was an eight-person affair that took place at sunset, on the beach in Miami, where we live. I wore a knee-length Elizabeth and James white dress sans shoes, while my fiancé sported khakis and a linen button-down. I carried a pretty bouquet and we said “I do” in front of a notary and our close relatives. It was magical and beautiful, but it wasn’t how I pictured my wedding day.

For starters, the reason we got married when we did and how we did wasn’t so much out of choice, but out of necessity. My work visa application had recently been denied, and if my boyfriend and I didn’t get married soon, I would’ve had to move back to Canada and try re-applying. The outlook was bleak, and since we were already living together and headed down the marriage path — my boyfriend proposed. It was a romantic proposal no doubt, but I couldn’t help but worry that my “situation” had pressured him into marriage. Consequently, on our wedding day one month later, I was overwhelmed by feelings of happiness and worry. There was no Rabbi present, and the majority of our family members were missing given the impromptu nature of our nuptials.

When I would picture my wedding, the two images in my head were of me dancing the night away with my nearest and dearest, and another of me giving a memorable speech. Needless to say, after giving the idea of having my dream second wedding some careful thought, I decided it was something I wanted to do. It was 100% my decision, although I couldn’t have done it without my parents’ generosity and willingness to let me be completely in charge of all aspects of the event. C’mon, how often does that happen?

I enjoyed the wedding planning process — from picking the perfect gown at Pronovias, to selecting the reception chairs, flowers, and music. My mother-in-law kindly offered  to host the rehearsal dinner and post-wedding brunch, and she surprised me with the loveliest bridal shower I never got to have. My best friend and parents helped me when I needed them, and the coordinator at the venue, Le Place D’Armes Hotel and Suites (a boutique hotel in my hometown of Montreal) was an absolute gem to work with.

Nevertheless, I eventually grew tired of explaining to certain people why we were having a second wedding; and yes, there was some family drama to work through, and not all people understand the concept of RSVP’ing. And like many a bride before me, six weeks before I do part two, I started to question every decision I had made — from the tablecloth color — to why I was doing this altogether. It was awfully stressful.

But then July third rolled around and a feeling of calm came over me. This was it; my big day was here. Everything was in place, and from the moment I walked down the aisle to the moment they had to drag my husband and me off the dance floor — I could feel the love. That day we were married under the Jewish tradition surrounded by 100 of our closest family and friends. Just as I had envisioned — I danced the night away and my speech was a hit. No one appreciated what I had to say more than my husband, who despite thinking a second wedding wasn’t “necessary” — had a blast and thanked me later. It was truly the best night for both of us, and the amazing response from our loved ones is something we’ll cherish forever.

I listed to my gut and decided to have a second wedding. I couldn’t be happier.

xoxo

Val