Last week was my 29th birthday (final year as a twenty something!) which means it’s time for my annual words of wisdom post. Having recently planned and celebrated my wedding (July 3), I’ve decided to dedicate this years’ write-up to sharing some of the knowledge I acquired along the way. My wedding in Montreal was everything I hoped it would be, and I hope you’ll find what I have to share helpful. As always, I’d love to hear your feedback.

You WILL doubt your wedding dress choice and it’s totally okay. I purchased my gown a year before my wedding, and because of Instagram, Pinterest and the entire Internet, throughout those 365 days I was inundated with images of beautiful dresses that made me question my own decision. It’s not that I began to dislike my dress, it’s that  I couldn’t stop wondering if I could’ve picked a better one. Should I have gone with tulle instead of satin? No train instead of a massively long one? During this time, I wish someone would’ve said to me:

Val, as you wait for your dress, you are going to see tons of gorgeous dresses, because guess what? There’s a lot of great stuff out there. Remember, you made the choice you did for a reason, so for god’s sake have some confidence.

In the end I was 100% satisfied with my dress (a good tailor goes a looong way) and I regretted the time I wasted wallowing in self doubt. Could I have picked an even better wedding gown? Maybe. Probably. But bottom line is I loved mine and that’s what my counts.

The bottom of your wedding dress will get soiled and that’s totally okay. We took our photos outside in Old Montreal, and despite my best efforts to hold up my dress, the bottom got pretty dirty. I got upset when I saw the dirt stains, but you can’t tell in any of the photos, and after a while I stopped noticing. The reality is you’re moving all night, and trust me — no one is looking at the bottom of your dress.

Don’t leave the tailor before making sure you’re totally comfortable in your wedding dress. I had three fittings and it was only during the last one I realized that the neckline of my dress was too high and was irritating my neck. We lowered the neckline and it made all the difference. Move around in your dress; sit down; dance around; get jiggy with it ladies. If you have a train you need to bustle, make sure the latch is strong enough to hold the weight of the fabric you plan to bustle. I had a big button that my seamstress covered in leftover lace from my gown and it held up the entire night.

Triple check the length of your gown so it’s just right. And please pick shoes you can dance in and try your dress on with those shoes during your fittings. A comfortable bride equals a confident bride and there’s nothing more beautiful than that.

Listen to the advice of others but ultimately go with your gut. This may sound obvious, but it didn’t then. Because I had never planned a wedding, I routinely sought the advice of a couple trusted married friends. I once even bombarded a well-known wedding planner with questions while she was getting her color done next to me (I knew she had no escape route). One question I kept asking people was whether I should shell out the cash and go for a white vinyl dance floor in lieu of the wood one the venue came with. They all said no, you don’t need it, or no, it will look too flashy. As a result, I canceled my order. However, a month before my wedding I decided to go with my instinct and opt for the vinyl dance floor. I just knew it would be worth the money. I was so glad I listened to myself.

Consider the comfort of your guests. Happy guests have more fun, and fun guests help create a fun wedding. We were originally going to have the cocktail hour on the hotel’s gorgeous rooftop terrace. However, once I realized my female guests would have to walk up several stairs in their heels in order to get up there, and that older guests would struggle altogether — I nixed that plan. I was upset for sure, but luckily we had a great alternative to the terrace. Switching the cocktail location made for a much smoother transition from the ceremony hall and to the reception space, and I know I made the right choice by prioritizing the comfort of our guests.

Another decision I’m so happy I made was placing flip flops in assorted sizes in the ladies room. I wanted my guests to have zero excuses for not dancing, and I can’t tell you how many women approached me to say thank you for this inexpensive (they were from Old Navy!) yet thoughtful gesture.

Candles go a long way. I’ve always loved candles, and thanks to websites like candles4less and yummicandles, you can buy them in bulk at great prices. I had candles on the tables during cocktails, lining the stairway up to the reception hall, on the   tables, on the bar, on the card table. Basically, I put candles anywhere and everywhere. They instantly create a romantic, luxurious mood at a price that won’t break the bank.

Tell your band and/or DJ to constantly switch up the music. We gave our DJ a playlist and a strict do not play list and told him to avoid playing any song in its entirety. This keeps your guests on their toes, and if someone doesn’t like a song — the next one is just around the corner. Our guests loved this and it helped create a real party atmosphere. Think about it, the best club DJs never play full length songs. Needless to say, our dance floor was packed all night.

Work with vendors who come recommended and whom you can trust. This may go without saying, but I’ve heard stories of peoples’ hairdressers not showing up on the big day. So while yes, so and so florist may have a killer Instagram page, but if your friend who used them has bad things to say about them — or worse, if they strike you as disorganized or erratic — don’t hire them. This is your day and you want to be surrounded by professionals you feel comfortable with and who you know will provide the service you’ve hired them do to. In fact, one of the reasons I picked my venue was because the on-site coordinator came highly recommended and was so on top of her game when I met her. I felt confident she would do everything to ensure our wedding would be as smooth as possible.

During your wedding, let go and just have fun. There’s nothing you can change at this point, so just enjoy yourself. You’ve earned it. My husband and I spent the entire wedding on the dance floor with little to no idea of what was going on around us and we had a blast. We got to spend time with one another and have fun which is what weddings are all about in the end.

Have sex on your wedding night. You’ll be tired and most probably a little tipsy (if not wasted), but this is a memory you’ll want to have. A good friend gave me this nugget of advice and I’m so glad I listened.

XOXO

Val