New York

March Madness: five NYC restaurants I’m drooling over this month

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If you’ve met me, you know I live for good food. Not unlike most New Yorkers, (yup, I just referred to myself as a New Yorker, I think a year and change living here grants me such a privilege) I peruse a restaurant’s menu well in advance and spend the entire day salivating. Likewise, I also plan my outfit accordingly (hello stretchy pants). However, unfortunately, or fortunately? I have the stomach of an 85 year-old, i.e., highly sensitive. I’m also a bit of a health nut, albeit one who believes in eating with complete abandon at least 10 percent of the time. All this to say, the restaurants below satisfy the perfect ratio of guilt-free to decadent — a combo we all need to hold us over till the first real signs of spring. What’s more, none of them will break the bank so you can still afford those ankle-strap heels you’ve been lusting after.

Yuzi-wasabi shrimp at Red Farm

1. Rosemary’s (Greenwich Village, no reservations unless group of six or more, seasonal Italian, rooftop garden, open all day everyday). Must try: chopped salad “Siciliana”; skirt steak; and brussels sprouts. 

2. The Smile (East Village, reservations accepted, American nouveau/traditional, open all day everyday). Must try: lamb meatballs; sauteed autumn vegetables with cranberry beans, green and yellow zucchini, house-made ricotta and fried egg; and roasted balsamic chicken served with lemon and thyme roasted red potatoes.

3. Red Farm (West Village, no reservations, modern chinese, dim sum, weekend brunch, dinner). Must try: yuzu-wasabi shrimp, steamed lobster dumplings and the three chili chicken.

4. Barmarché (Nolita, reservations accepted, American nouveau/Latin American, weekend brunch, dinner, happy hour). Must try: grilled corn bruschetta with crushed avocado, pecorino, cilantro and lime; and seared scallops with creamy corn, roasted jalapeno and balsamic reduction.

5. Café Select (Soho, reservations accepted, French/Swiss/Austrian/German, open all day everyday). Must try: Toblerone mousse (it’s outer-worldly!).

Texting etiquette: where’s Emily Post when you need her?

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I text, you text, heck — even my mom texts.  When it comes to the early stages of dating, I’ll choose texting over the phone any day — it’s casual, to the point, and I always sound so much wittier. I definitely don’t say “like” as much via text; my fifth grade teacher would be proud. However, the informality of texting is precisely what  I love and loathe about it. For instance, the other day, a guy canceled a date over text a mere hour prior. Sure it was peppered with apologies, but something tells me he would’ve shown up despite his “crazy day at work” if his only way of canceling was to pick up the phone and say sorry voice-to-voice. Thoughts? Discuss.

Why can’t we take advantage of the benefits of texting rather than using the medium as a means to act with an extra dose of disrespect? This isn’t only a dating issue, although that’s when it typically stings the most, but my friends, myself included (I know, even I make mistakes), are also guilty of texting-enabled rudeness. If you’re on the phone and you’re asked about your weekend plans, you can’t pretend you didn’t hear the question, but with texts you can reply days later, saying anything from: “my phone just turned off” (sometimes it does happen), to: “I saw your text, then got distracted by “x” and forgot to answer — oops, sooo sorry”.  Catch my drift? I realize it’s unrealistic (a gal can dream), to enact a set of dating texting rules so we can all loosen our death gripes on our phones, but next time you either don’t respond to a text, don’t respond within an appropriate time frame, cancel plans at the last minute (the list goes on), ask yourself: would I do this if texting wasn’t an option?

Lastly, I would love to hear your thoughts on how long is too long to reply to a text message. Two hours? six hours? One day? Is there even such a thing in today’s fast-paced, informal dating culture? What about with regards to friends or acquaintances? Side note: my next interaction with the “date-canceler” involved me having to wait over 24 hours for a response. Needless to say, I was pissed off. I know this is a contentious subject, and even I, with my OCD-type personality have been guilty of returning calls AND texts a day, or — gasp — two later. Does it count that I knew it was wrong, apologized, and I’ve only done it again five, maybe six times? I hope to hear from you, just don’t wait too long — whatever that means…

xoxo

Val

You talkin’ to me? Changing our inner dialogue

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Do you ever think something to yourself that makes you go what the #@!& immediately after? This has been happening to me a lot as of late, and I’m fed up with my self destructive inner-dialogue. For instance, in my romantic life I’ve never been one to favor “the asshole” or the “sort of asshole” over “the nice guy”. However,  I’ve actually thought to myself recently, and even said aloud to others: “ugh, is he too nice?” And: “why is he being so nice, what does he want?”.  You know you’ve reached a new low when you’re considering turning someone down or questioning them for being too nice. And while I make a point of saying how much I loath game playing as it pertains to dating, lately I find myself wondering if a guy’s desperate if he’s too quick to express interest in me. Despicable. I mean god forbid someone actually likes me, obviously he’s a first-class (“L” on forehead) loser.

Yes, one of the downsides of dating is it can make a cynic out of the best of us, yet I like to think it doesn’t have to. Perhaps I’ve taken one too many affirmation-shouting Inten-Sati classes (at Equinox), where the focus is on empowerment through a more positive inner dialogue. Or maybe it’s the start of a new year and I’ve got my rose tinted glasses on. What I’m trying to express is when such thoughts arise, I’ve got to remind myself that I am worthy of love and good things. In a sense, it’s so much easier to think negatively because then we’re better equipped to deal with disappointments. The reality, however, is we’re much much more likely to find success — in all facets of life, if we believe it is ours to be had. And just think of all the bad energy we’re sending out into the atmosphere?! Still not saying we shouldn’t proceed with caution (there are crazies out there) but you, well, you get it right? Love thyself. Be kind to thyself. Repeat.

xoxo

Val

Better late than never: 2013 resolutions

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Me in “guru pose” (as my friend Pam called it) on New Year’s eve in Saint. Martin. 


Happy 2013 dear readers! I’ve finally come up with some New Year’s resolutions I think I can actually keep. What was that? Disbelief? Oh no you didn’ttttt (insert mandatory finger waving and snapping). Besides, putting my resolutions on the web for all to see already implies a certain degree of accountability, right? I think so anyways.

 What are your resolutions? Send them my way and we can keep each other in-check. Thank you again for reading, it means the world to me as this blog is truly a labor of love. 

1. Blog more. Duh. 

2. De-clutter. Cabinets, closet, desk — the works. I find I breathe easier when there’s less “stuff” around me. It’s also a major time-saver, especially for someone who is perennially late. That brings me to my second resolution…

3. Be on time. Stop under-estimating how much time I need to get ready and arrive at my final destination. 

4. Get together with friends more often during the week. Drinks on a Wednesday despite having work the next day? Yes please! Life’s too short to not take advantage of NYC’s vibrant nightlife which some argue attracts better crowds (ahem, eligible bachelors) on weekdays. 

5. Eat less sweets. Moderation, moderation, moderation.

6. Keep changing up my exercise regime to avoid getting bored and to keep my muscles on their toes so to speak. Last year I fell in love with the ballet inspired barre-burn classes and the heart-pumping, affirmation shouting inten-sati classes at Equinox. In 2013, I’m trying pilates on the megaformer at SLT. It has been described as “pilates on steroids”, and while I’m scared, I’m also kind of psyched. I’ve also just gotten into Mary Helen Bowers’ ballet-based dvd workouts. The former ballerina and Natalie Portman’s trainer for Black Swan helps you get that long and lean ballerina body. Her quick, targeted workouts are perfect when you’re traveling or pressed for time. 

7. Sport a bold lip more often. It’s an instant winter pick-me-up on days when I’m looking Edward-Cullen-esque. My current favorite is Nars’ Velvet Matte Lip Pencil in “Dragon Girl”.

8. Smile more at strangers. As Gandhi said, “be the change you wish to see in the world”, and I would like to live in a more positive, upbeat world. And also because you never know who will smile back… 

9. Reap the benefits of living in New York City by attending more art exhibits, plays, comedy shows, musicals and concerts. 

10. Remain calm. I almost want to cross this one off the list because calm and me don’t exactly go together, but I really, really, really want to try to keep my cool in the face of  stress this year. I can and I will try and that’s the most we can ever ask of ourselves — to try. And if we fail — there’s always 2014.

Xoxo

Val 

Drinking in the city: 10 favorite NYC bars

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Chances are, if you’re planning a visit to NYC, you’ll want some boozing to compliment your eating (which will also involve boozing), but hey — you only live once (YOLO). Here are some of my favorite bars based primarily on atmosphere and crowd “quality” because cocktail-connoisseur I aien’t. So eat, drink and be merry my friends! Happy holidays

xoxo – Val

1) The Wren 
2) 10 Degrees (yummy food too)
3) The Mulberry Project
4) Wilfie and Nell (yummy food too)
5) Employees Only (yummy food too)
6) Little Branch
7) Booker and Dax
8) Pete’s Tavern (great burger)
9) The Lobby Bar at Ace Hotel (yummy food too)
10) Kingswood (really, really yummy food too)

Words of Wisdom from a 25 year old

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Toasting 25 years of wisdom (yeah right!) at Kingswood 

Twenty-five. The big 2-5. Quarter. Life. Crisis. Any Sex and the City devotee likely recalls the episode where Carrie goes to an Italian restaurant to celebrate her 35th birthday (or maybe it was 34th?) and none of her friends show up. And if the situation wasn’t dire enough – the girl next to her loudly proclaims: “25 – f#&% I’m old”. Ouch. Well today I’m 25, and for some reason, that’s all I seem to want to say right now. Now I know 25 isn’t actually old, especially in today’s world where the notion of age is constantly being redefined. I need not look any further than my 82 year-old grandfather who walks at such a brisk pace, few 25 year-olds (cough, cough) can keep up. Besides, with age comes wisdom, and just like I did last year, I want to share some of what I’ve learned over the last year with you. Having lived in New York City since January, this past year has been quite the whirlwind; I’ve often found myself exclaiming: “I feel like I’ve lived 10 years in the last year”.  I’ve always had a flair for the dramatic, but needless to say – I’ve got lots to share, so let’s get on with it.


1) Two words: emerging adulthood. Yup, that’s the name developmental psychologist Jeffrey Arnett calls the period between ages 18-29 — a period his research shows ought to be recognized as a distinct developmental stage that occurs between adolescence and full-on adulthood. His theory is supported by findings that the area of our brain in charge of planning, prioritizing and controlling impulses isn’t entirely developed until our late twenties. Jackpot. I’ve been reading a lot about Arnett and similar research, most recently in the November issue of ELLE, and I couldn’t agree more. Neither Arnett nor I am saying we should put off growing up and decision making, but given the changing society twenty-somethings live in today (globalization, changes in corporate culture, delaying marriage and having children), there’s nothing wrong with taking this time to explore various lifestyles, career/education paths and relationships. It’s nice to know that science supports — even encourages us to make mistakes and figure things out during these formative years, which is why why we shouldn’t get down on ourselves when we have to stop, re-think and reboot. Can you hear that? It was a sigh of relief.

2) We are all works in progress. Harking back somewhat to my first point, I’m slowly learning results don’t come overnight — they hardly ever come over lots and lots of nights
 — sometimes even years. I’m someone who want to see the fruits of my labors very quickly; I start working out more, well I want to see some definition within weeks, or I start dating and I get discouraged when I don’t meet the man of my dreams on the third try. Well, I’m slowly learning life just doesn’t work that way — it really is a constant fight. When all we think about are results, what we’re really doing is setting ourselves up for disappointment. On the other hand, if we tell ourselves that we’re a constant work in progress and that it’s okay to lose track of our goals, or that we might not get what we want when we want it, we’ll be able to enjoy the journey. The important thing is to keep trying and to not waste time chastising yourself if you fall off the horse, but rather get back on it and charge ahead.

3) Never under-estimate the importance of looking put together. I’m not referring to having your hair blown-out daily — I’m a weekday bun-wearer myself, however, you always feel better and have a happier, more productive day when you take that extra step. That means wearing a touch of makeup, a little jewelry and some nice shoes. Oh, and for gods-sake NO Lululemon’s unless you just worked out or are planning on doing so within 2.5 hours, are nursing an abominable hangover, or if there’s a hurricane approaching. And don’t even get me started on leggings as pants. 

4) You can’t please everyone, so just stop trying. Stop it. Now. I’m the epitome of a people-pleaser, and let me tell you — it’s exhausting.  I mean I have lost sleep worrying about whether I had hurt someone’s feelings, someone who wasn’t even a good friend, only to later learn they had no recollection of the conversation. My mom has always said: “you’re not a $10 bill — not everyone will like you”. Wise words spoken by an even wiser woman. Between dating, working in different offices and socializing,  I find myself interacting with an increasing number of people, and I know if I continue over-analyzing whether my words and/or actions might’ve negatively affected someone, or worse — their view of me —  I’ll look 50 by the time I hit 30.  Now there’s food for thought.

5) When a guy tells you he’s bad at relationships, isn’t a good communicator and doesn’t know what he wants in his life despite being in his thirties — run. Fast. Never look back. I know I’m regurgitating words from a previous post about dating, but it’s something I had to learn the hard way this year, so if I can spare you a lil pain — than all the better. In fact, I’m considering putting these words on T-shirts. Thoughts? 

6) Be flexible. I’m not talking about the yoga-kind of flexibility, even though I think it does wonders for the mind and body, but rather being flexible in life. I’ve never been good at either, but as I get older (gaaaaa), I realize the importance of being able to go with the flow and the need to shake things up from time to time. I’m a stickler for routine, but some of the greatest nights of the past year took place when I abandoned my “plan” and did something unexpected, or that I didn’t necessarily want to do. 

7) Read. Books, newspapers, magazines, blogs — the more the merrier. Reading is exercise for our brains and it’s never too early to start thinking about ways we can stave off the horrible disease that is Alzheimer’s. What’s more, reading makes us smarter, more well-rounded humans — yuppie! It’s also the best way to become a stronger writer and a better conversationalist, plus, it’s enjoyable and a great way to unwind.  I always start my day by reading a couple articles from the New York Times and New York Magazine, while ensuring to check my style blogs (duh). Below are some  books I’ve read and liked recently:

– This is Where I Leave You by Jonathan Tropper
– The Marriage Plot by Jeffrey Eugenides 
– The Starboard Sea by Amber Dermont
– Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn

8) Dating isn’t easy. Throw that notion out the window and enter the dating world helmut in hand because there will be bumps and you will sustain bruises along the way. I promise though, it will be fun too. Another bit of wisdom: go into every date open-minded. To quote my mother: “you may not like him but you might just like his friend…” Life is full of surprises and you literally never know who’s waiting around the corner which is why I think it’s  important to get out there and date — as daunting and painful as it might be. After all, it’s kind of hard to win the lottery if you never bought a ticket in the first place. 

9) Throw out the dating rules. When I first forayed into the Manhattan dating world, I was  so focused on how things “ought” to be according to some arbitrary “rules”  that were ingrained in my head, that I spent an inordinate amount of time obsessing over whether I had done something “wrong”. With time and a little experience, I’ve come to believe that rules are stupid, and that when it’s “right”, no one’s going to care who made the first move or who over-shared on the first-date. If you want to call him — do it! If you’re scared, then maybe that’s all the more reason to do it. I didn’t always think this way, but I’m learnin’.

 10) Listen to your body. Just because your friend can workout six days a week and feel perfectly fine, doesn’t mean it’s right for you. Take cues from your body because it’s always communicating with you. I said this back when I was a young lass at 24: our health is the most important thing we’ve got in this world, so we have to take care of our bodies and our minds. If something doesn’t feel right, stop. There’s nothing wrong with trying again, but take it easy. And always remember to inhale and exhale. I tend to forget so I figured I’d remind y’all. 

And one more for good luck: Don’t knock online dating until you’ve tried it. All you skeptics out there need to step into 2012 and realize it’s not your mama’s dating world anymore. Trust me on this one. Just give it a try. Just one — or two, or three. I’ll shut up now. 

Happy Birthday Me!

xoxox
Val

What better time to try a bold lip than on my birthday?
Nars Lip Lacquer in Hot Wired 
Kisses to y’all! 







DON’T stop and think.

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The other day my friend and I were running around what felt like all of Manhattan (okay it might’ve just been in and around Union Square and Greenwich Village), trying to put our fashion design project together. Our perilous journey towards mediocrity (sorry P), led us through many a campus computer lab, Staples (three times), three restaurants (what, we’ve gotta eat!), Zara (for inspiration), and several other destinations I won’t bore you with. The point of this is wherever we went that day, it seemed all any female over the age of eighteen was talking about was MEN. An earth shattering revelation, I know. But here’s the thing, any discussion I managed to overhear was focused only around the guy. “why do you think he did that?”, and “can you believe he said this”, and “why is he not calling?”, and “when will he finally get his act together?” etc.  Basically, it was all he, he, he.

Listening to these women it hit me that I too am guilty of wasting precious time trying to analyze what the guy is thinking and attempting to interpret his actions rather than thinking about my reactions and feelings toward the situation. Self destructive much? What I’m trying to say is the more time we spend trying to figure out men, the less time we focus on what we want and what makes us truly happy. And c’mon, like we’re ever going to figure ’em out anyways. Ladies, are you with me?

However, once we figure out what it is we really want and how we feel about what’s happening, we’ve also got to take two steps back and realize that men often communicate and act differently from us in similar situations. We’ve got to be a little patient and understanding because that’s what relationships of any kind, platonic or romantic are build upon. My whole shtik is we’ve got to stop trying to “get” men and why they do what they do. Instead, we should focus on whether we’re happy, while somehow managing to meet them at least 1/3 of the way, and spending more energy focusing on enjoying the process. Now don’t think I’ve got the answers to how exactly we can enjoy ourselves as opposed to tormenting ourselves, but I’m working on it and when I find the answers — you’ll know where to look.

xoxo
-Val

When it’s good to be a bad listener

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As you guys have probably figured out by now, my life is pretty much an open blog. I love to share my favorite restaurants, shops, stories, insights, jokes, and the like with my family, friends, hairdresser, doorman and well, you get the idea. That said, my love life is no exception. In fact, if there’s one part of my life I especially LOVE to share, it’s my dating dilemmas. I’ll ask anyone who’ll listen what they think of a somewhat cryptic text message or what their opinion is on splitting the bill, sex on the first? third? tenth? date, what not to say on a first date, when’s the right time to break out the sweats, etc.

I’m not exactly sure why I do this. It could be the journalist in me and my natural propensity for sharing news, knowledge and ideas, it could be a manifestation of my insecurities when it comes to romance and relationships, or it might be a consequence of my unwavering need to understand how life and love “works”. Likely, it’s a combination of all the above. The problem is, when it comes to one’s love life, over-sharing and asking for too many people’s opinions can become overwhelming and downright confusing. It can also blur the line between actions you’re doing because it’s what feels right to you, and actions you’re doing because it’s what you think you ought to be doing because your best friend’s friend’s cousin said so, and obviously she knows what she’s talkin’ about because she has a successful marriage. Right? WRONG!

What I’ve learned is if there’s anytime where you have to be truly, madly, deeply yourself is if you want to foster a meaningful connection with someone. After all, how would you feel if the person they fell in love or like with was an amalgamation of people you created based on your trainer’s/ sister’s/ cousin’s/ friend’s/ butcher’s opinion? The real you is bound to come up eventually because that’s just how it goes and then things can get kind of tricky and icky.

So my goal from now on is to me more judicious in my sharing, and to find a way to tell people who are close to me about my life and love life without always asking for their opinions. And, when people offer unsolicited advice, which let’s face it, people tend to do A LOT, I’ll have to figure out a way to listen without internalizing advice to the point where I let it dictate my actions. If I happen to agree, it’s a whole other story, but then I’ll still be doing something because it’s what feels right to ME. Bottom line: we (and when I say “we” I mostly mean “me” because heck, who am I to tell you what to do and how to think), need to remember that no one knows us better than we know ourselves and we are the only ones who know the entirety of a situation, so we’ve got to trust our gut and do as we see fit. Life and love can be terrifying, but there’s no other option except to grab the bull by its horns and go along for the ride –  in our own special way.

Bites: Where to eat in NYC NOW

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Below are some of my current NYC favorites. I made sure there’s a bite for every budget. Let the eating begin! 

Side note: All of these restaurants serve dinner, but I’ve indicated whether they serve other meals as well.

Inexpensive:

1) Thai Terminal (Thai, lunch) 
2) Cafe Habana (Cuban, breakfast, lunch) 
3) Taim  (Falafel, Middle Eastern, lunch)
5) Shake Shack  (burgers, fries, hotdogs, shakes, lunch)
6) Frank (Italian, breakfast, brunch, lunch, happy hour)
7) Randolph Beer  (Bar food)
8) Sao Mai  (Vietnamese, lunch)
9) Westville (American, brunch, lunch)
10) Cafe Condessa (American/Mexican, brunch, lunch)
11) Cafe Gitane (Moroccan, Mediterranean, brunch, cafe)
12) Hu Kitchen (new!) (organic, gluten free, healthy, eat-in, marketplace, breakfast, lunch, brunch, snack, cafe)

Moderately Inexpensive:

1) La Pizza Fresca (Italian, Neapolitan Pizza, lunch)
2) Paprika (Italian, brunch) 
3) Marumi (Japanese, lunch)
4) Angelica Kitchen (Vegan, lunch)
5) Momofuko Noodle Bar (Asian, lunch)
6) Cafe Mogador (Moroccan, Mediterranean, breakfast, brunch, lunch)
7) Rubirosa  (Italian, family-style, gluten-free menu available, brunch, lunch)
8) The City Bakery (lunch, brunch, buffet style, hot chocolate, cafe)
9)  Alta  (Tapas with a twist)
10) Socorrat (Paella bar, Spanish, tapas, lunch)
11) The Smile (new!) (American nouveau/traditional, breakfast, brunch, lunch)
12) Emporio (new!) (Italian, wood-burning pizza oven, organic wine and dishes, Gluten-free options available, brunch, lunch)
13) Co. (new!) (Pizzeria, brunch, lunch)
14) Jack’s Wife Freda (new!) (Jewish/South African, breakfast, brunch, lunch)

Greek salad with kale; cauliflower, and babaganoush with feta at Jack’s Wife Freda

Relatively expensive but TOTALLY worth it

1) Boqueria (Tapas, brunch, lunch) 
2) Cafe Cluny  (American/French, brunch, lunch)
3) The Little Owl (French, lunch, brunch) 

How nice, they split the roasted chicken and halibut for us at The Little Owl

4) Momofuko Ma Peche  (French/Asian)
5) Market Table (American, market cuisine, brunch, lunch) 
6) Fedora (American, market cuisine)
7) Joseph Leonard  (American, market cuisine, breakfast, brunch, lunch)
6) Craft Bar (American, market cuisine, brunch, lunch) 

White anchovy bruschetta with soft-cooked egg, lemon ailoi and leek confit at Craft Bar

7) Balthazar (French bistro, breakfast, brunch, lunch) 
8) Sushi Yasuda (sushi, Japanese, lunch) 
9) The Northern Spy (American, market cuisine, brunch)
10) Il Buco Alimentari (Italian, brunch, lunch)
11) Barbounia (Mediterranean, brunch, lunch, happy hour)
12) The Fat Radish (Market cuisine, brunch, lunch)
13) Morandi (Italian, brunch, lunch)
14) The Red Cat (American, market cuisine, lunch)
15) Blue Ribbon Sushi (sushi, Japanese, lunch)
16) Momoya (Sushi, Japanese, lunch)

17) Balaboosta (Middle Eastern, brunch, lunch)
18) Kingswood (Market cuisine, brunch, bar)
19) The Mermaid Inn (Seafood, 3 locations, brunch)
20) Goat Town (American, brunch)
21) Blue Ribbon Brasserie (American/French, open till 4 a.m., dessert)
22) The Dutch (American, brunch, lunch, open late) 
2 a.m. post-birthday dessert at Blue Ribbon Brasserie
(Best flourless chocolate cake and sundae in town)
23) Rosemary’s (local, rooftop garden, organic, breakfast, brunch, lunch)
24) Rayuela (Latin tapas, brunch, lunch)

Appetizers from my birthday dinner at Kingswood

25) Red Farm (new!) (dim sum, creative Chinese, brunch) 
26) Cafe Select (new!) (French, Swiss, German, Austrian, bistro, brunch)
27) Barmarché (new!) (American nouveau/Latin American, brunch, happy hour) 
28) Wong (new!) (Asian, locally sourced ingredients) 

29) De Santos (new!) (American, seasonal, organic, brunch, outdoor garden)

Very expensive and VERY worth it 

1) 15 East (new!) (Sushi for fish lovers) 
2) ABC Kitchen (new!) (farm to table, organic, brunch, lunch) 
3) Marc Forgione (new!) (Contemporary, brunch).