Dispatch from NYC: 5 things I’m loving this month

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After a winter that seemed destined to swallow up spring without allowing us so much as a glimpse, May is finally upon us and it feels more or less like, well, May. To fete this occasion, I’ve decided to do more than simply shave my legs — I’m sharing five places/things I can’t get enough of to help you jumpstart the season. It’s astonishing how much happier I am after basking in a little sunlight and swapping my parka for a luxurious leather jacket and lightweight scarf. So read quickly, then hurry along and get a lil vitamin D action. Don’t forget to wear sunscreen.

1. Hu Kitchen (5th Avenue between 14th St. & 13th St.) While no one can accuse Manhattan of lacking healthy food options, Hu Kitchen has managed to carve out a niche for itself — one I’d be happy to curl up in and feast for days on end. The restaurant and market is based around the philosophy humans ought to return to a pre-industrial diet. While I won’t go into the fascinating (no sarcasm intended) details of “The Hu Pillars” (there are eight total), in essence it boils down to eating minimally processed foods with recognizable ingredients that  benefit us and the environment. Kudos to them for listing the ingredients in every dish and for substituting sugar with either organic coconut sugar, unfiltered honey or maple syrup. At Hu, the entire menu is gluten free and everything from chicken, to chocolate chia pudding, to kale salad and smoothies are offered. My go-to has been 1/4 piece of organic chicken with three sides: roasted pineapple, dairy free cauliflower puree and roasted butternut squash. Ringing in at $20 and change, it’s pricey, but it’s positively divine and you know what you’re paying for. Take it to go, or park yourself in the rustic seating area reminiscent of the Berenstain Bears’ house
 — only, you know, significantly swankier. And no matter what you do, don’t leave without trying an Hu handcrafted in Brooklyn chocolate bar. It. Will. Change. Your. Life.

One of the must-try chocolate bar flavors at Hu Kitchen

2. Tenoverten.  (Two locations, one at the Parker Meridien and another in Tribeca). Whereas most mani/pedi spots operate with the efficiency of a production line, at tenoverten you’re not just another number. But even more important than the stellar customer service is the end result; the technicians are better (in my humble opinion) and totally worth the slightly higher price (manicures start at $15, pedicures at $35). The minimalist decor exudes calm, and I dare you not to find the perfect polish among a bevy of choices that include Nars and Chanel at no extra charge.

3. Bathtub Gin.  (9th Ave between 19th St. & 18th St.) No, you don’t have to be a gin drinker to enjoy this Chelsea bar because I for one certainly am not. I came here on a first date recently, and embarrassingly walked by it several times before my date (who was watching me look lost the entire time), came to my rescue. Here’s the thing, to enter Bathtub Gin you have to walk through a fully-operating coffee shop, the name of which escapes me. Once in, you’re greeted by a bouncer at another door. This door has no name which is a tell-tale sign you’ve reached a “cool” destination. The atmosphere is that of a posh speakeasy, and there’s a retro bathtub in the center that begs for some Instagraming (you have to hop in of course). Food wise, I only tried the duck spring rolls and they were an A-.

4. Brunch at The Dutch (Sullivan St. corner Prince St.) Whether you’re craving a decadent brunch (hot fried chicken, cornmeal flapjacks) or prefer to air on this side of healthier — there’s something mouth-watering for everyone at The Dutch. Just do me a favor and order the lobster cocktail if you’re a fish lover because this is one mouth party you won’t want to miss.

5. Stella McCartney Sunglasses. I won’t deny, I probably put more effort into choosing a new pair of shades than I did my online dating profile. The thing is designer sunglasses are ridiculously expensive, and I have two perfectly good pairs, so to justify a new purchase they had to be “special”. Fortunately, I found a pink cat eye shape from Stella that’s unlike anything I own, and at $225 — I was spared shopper’s guilt — a win-win if I’ve ever seen one.

Blurry shot of me in my Stella sunnies. 

xoxox

Val

Instead, we use organic coconut sugar, unfiltered honey, and maple syrup.

Online dating 101: my dos and don’ts

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While discussing my online dating woes with a friend the other night, she suggested my newly acquired  knowledge deserved to be shared for the greater good of mankind (otherwise known as the twenty plus people who read this blog). A devotee of the “write about what you know” school of thought – I got down to business. Having dated online in New York City for a little over a year (OkCupid, JDate), I’ve culled together a good chunk of wisdom. Overall, I have nothing but praise for online dating, particularly when you’re busy and not the biggest fan of the bar pick-up-scene. While I doubt anyone would describe me as awkward or cold, I have been told I don’t give off an approachable vibe. Great. Approachability notwithstanding, I am pleased to report many of my dates went beyond the first date, and one even led to a brief relationship, but chances are you already know that so I’ll get on with the program. 
DON’T respond to anyone whose profile includes a topless photo. If you’re a guy, I’d stand clear of women in bikinis. With online dating, you have no choice but to judge a book at least somewhat by its cover, and such photos shout: “I’m vain”, and “I have a small brain capable of only thinking about one thing”. 
DO include a close-up as well as a full-length photo in your profile. Do I really need to remind you about the judgmental aspect of online dating? I never said it’s without fault. 
DO keep your messages short and sweet. I’ve had guys send me resume-type messages, making me question what it was about my profile that made them mistake me for a recruiter. Selling yourself makes you seem desperate; a joke along with a witty comment referencing the other person’s profile makes you look funny and smart – jackpot.
DON’T answer someone who has barely filled out his or her profile. It conveys laziness and a disinterest in anything other than a casual hook-up (unless that’s what you want, then by all means). Similarly, DON’T respond to a message that only contains “hey”, or “hey, what’s up”. If they can’t take the time to read your profile and respond accordingly – they either failed high school, or just want to get in your pants. And on the topic of length, DO make sure your profile is complete without veering off into essay territory. I say keep your answers around 50 words. 
In regards to your profile’s content, DO focus on what makes you unique and on being yourself and you can’t fail. DO ensure your profile reflects your characteristics and values, especially those you want your significant other to share. Hence if you like sarcasm and eating out, and can’t imagine being with someone who doesn’t – highlight those things. A major perk of online dating is it allows – even encourages you to be upfront about what you want – much trickier to do in a bar setting. 
Ladies, DO make the first move. I’ve asked around, and while some guys don’t like it when girls send the initial message – most consider it a compliment and love it. And sometimes, if you want something done right – you gotta do it yourself. It’s simply absurd to wait around and assume the man of your dreams will find you if it’s meant to be. I mean who even has that kind of time?
DON’T lie. This means no photos of you from five years ago, I don’t care how much hotter you were back then. 
DON’T play waiting games. In 2013, it’s safe to assume most people get emails or alerts whenever they get a message. Therefore, if you want to respond right away – go for it. Often we are actually too busy, or we can’t conjure up a witty response in the moment, but I think (at least I hope) we’re past the point of deeming someone a “loser” because they answered too soon. The image of someone waiting around by their computer is so2007.
DO meet in person sooner rather than later. My rule is after three or four messages each way, if there’s a connection – stop typing and wait to hear the rest in person. Chemistry requires physical interaction, and cleverness will only get you so far if I think you smell or if I’d rather kiss my great-aunt.
DON’T respond to initial messages that only compliment your looks, or that ask you to meet up or chat on the phone. If you’re writing to me, it’s assumed you find me at least remotely attractive – it’s just part and parcel of online dating. However, when you write me I’m hot and say little else – I get suspicious looks are the only reason you’re getting in touch. And then we go back to the whole casual hookup thing. Similarly, if you want to chat on the phone or meet for a drink before you’ve even exchanged one message with me, I get even more suspicious about your intentions and I also assume you’re a cocky asshole. 
DO confirm the date is happening the day before. While it’s okay to iron out the details the day of, I think it’s good manners to check in and make sure the date is actually happening as planned one day in advance. Like I said, we’re all busy people. 
DON’T schedule a first date on the weekend. I break this rule frequently due to my busy student/work life, but a weeknight date is ideal for two reasons: 1) If the date is going badly you can count on the “I have to be at work early the next day” excuse, 2) If someone bails last minute, you’re not left without plans on a precious Friday or Saturday night. Instead, you can get into your sweats and watch Scandal (I’m obsessed). 
DO have an open-mind. One of the best things online dating has going for it is it enables you to cast a wider net. If you’re enjoying a conversation with someone but they don’t meet all the criteria of the type of person you were hoping to meet, give it a try nonetheless. My theory is one night on the town with an interesting guy or gal won’t kill you. Of course there is a chance they could turn out to be totally different in person (it has happened to me, albeit rarely), but bad dates make the best stories. And also, life’s not fair – deal with it. 
xoxox
Val 

Life after graduation: coping with the great unknown

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Lately I’ve been feeling restless. For the first time in my 25 years on this earth, I haven’t a clue what I’m doing next. While I can tell you where I’m eating next — Babbo, anyone? (the parents are visiting), that’s about as far as I can get. For a compulsive planner (I was the eight year-old who couldn’t wait to get homework so I could write it in my agenda), this is torture not unlike the kind Kim Kardashian’s baby must feel when she dons a signature body hugging ensemble.

To bring you up to speed, I’m graduating in May and have begun my quest to find a job in the editorial/PR/marketing sphere. Desperate to stay in New York and build a successful career, the pressure is, in effect — on. Searching for a job, however, is a daunting process that doesn’t have a definite end date, like, say a midterm or an internship. You spend hours crafting an application to no avail, despite several follow-ups. It makes me wonder if there’s a “special place” all unread job applications go to die?

Do understand, I’m not inviting you to a pity party here; there are few people who don’t have to experience this at one point or another, but I’ve always used this blog as a means of self expression and this is no exception. This restlessness is new to me and I’m grappling with it.

I feel best when I’m being pro-active, but the instant I find myself running out of people to reach out to, or posts to apply for — the anxiety returns and I can’t seem to quell it. I feel guilty when I’m relaxing, when I’m focusing too much on a homework assignment, and basically every instant in between. I also desperately crave control (more so than I already do) in aspects of my life I’m more or less able to control — a recipe for disaster. If a friend were to recount these syndromes to me, I’d advise them to take three deep breaths and to stop being so hard on themselves. My college professor said on the first day of class: “do the best you can with the time you have.” Up until that point, I’d only heard the first part of that sentence, but as soon as the element of time was thrown into the equation — I felt (somewhat) liberated. Whenever I start to feel the panic rising up, I have to tell myself I’m doing all I can vis-à-vis my job search while juggling my final semester and a three-day internship. I also need to allow myself to relax guilt-free to gain energy I’m bound to need. Besides, my best ideas usually manifest during down time. Speaking of relaxation, I’m starting to think I need a new hobby because exercise doesn’t seem to suffice in calming me lately. Any ideas? I’m willing to entertain anything other than shopping — or knitting.

Party time: tips for your next wine and cheese or any hosting gig

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The best parties are the ones thrown for no other reason than to bring people together and have some good ol’ fashioned fun. That’s precisely why my dear friend Pam and I decided to host a wine and cheese soirée for our closest comrades last month. I relish being a hostess — quite possibly because I’m a control freak, but mainly because seeing people eating, drinking, and laughing, and knowing I played a small role in that — warms the cockles of my heart. Is that weird? Party planning, however, can be a simple feat or a large burden depending on how you go about it, which is why I’m sharing some of my tips. While they’re wine and cheese oriented, many can be applied to various types of parties. Happy hosting!

  1. Don’t make it too cheesy — i.e., don’t buy too many types of cheese. Four is the winning number, and I suggest opting for one goat, one sheep, one cow, and a last option of your choice. The more diverse the better, so try to include cheeses of varying firmness. Unsure where to begin? That’s what cheesemongers are for; I got some great advice from a lovely lady at Bedford Cheese Shop. Tip: blue cheese wasn’t a success at my party.

  2. Cut the cheese. Okay, that sounded differently in my head. What I mean is people tend to be lazy — and messy, therefore if you can assemble the cheese and the rest of the food into bite size pieces beforehand — your guests — and furniture will thank you. Just think, the easier it is for your guests to access the food, the more they’ll eat and the less leftovers you’ll be stuck with the following day.

  3. Location, location, location. Spread out the food throughout your home (do your best to get creative if your space is small), so the mountain can come to Muhammad. Remember what I said about guests generally being lazy and trying to avoid having leftovers? Right.

     Putting goodies in several bowls and spreading them out allowed for easier grabbing — a key ingredient for a good party. 

  4. Health comes first. As much as people love cheese, there’s only so much they can consume (some might beg to differ), thus it’s best to offset all that dairy with lighter options. Fruits (I served grapes, berries and cut pineapple) and vegetables served with tzatziki and hummus were major hits.

  5. A little goes a long (enough) way. Our friends (god bless their souls) couldn’t stop praising details such as the labels accompanying the cheeses describing the type of cheese and its country of origin. We also got compliments a plenty on offering apricot jam to pair with the cheese, as well as on our vast array of cracker options (from healthy to not so healthy).

    Guests loved the vast selection of crackers and the labels indicating the type of cheese and where it’s from. We nearly ran out of healthy options like hummus, vegetables and fruit. 

  6. Don’t forget the “mix” in party mix. Keep the playlist varied; alternate between artists, genres and degrees of intensity throughout the evening.

  7. Give two weeks notice and a reminder the day of. We invited friends via Facebook event two weeks in advance; people are busy today and don’t appreciate last minute invites. Also, the day of the party, I posted a message on the Facebook page telling guests to come hungry. When I later told someone I was impressed by how quickly the food supply was dwindling, they responded: “well you told us to come hungry!” This taught me a valuable lesson: people (mainly women) like to know what they’re in for so they can prepare — a.k.a., eat a lighter lunch.

  8. Buy what you like. This way, if you’re stuck with leftovers, your stomach and wallet will still be your friends.

  9. Make connections. Sometimes at a party, particularly when the invitees are from two different friend groups, people need a little help connecting. As host, try to make introductions and find common ground between guests to get the conversation flowing. It’s definitely a skill and will serve you well at parties — and in life. Ever heard of networking?

  10. Have fun. Don’t let worries of dessert potentially running out get in the way of you enjoying yourself with people you like — the reason for the event in the first place.
Bonus tip: keep the liquor (ideally a mix of wine, beer and one type of hard alcohol) in the kitchen to avoid a mess.

Closet confidential: my attempt to simplify my closet — and life

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A tailored black blazer like this Rag & Bone one (bought 50 percent off in January!) is a wardrobe staple.

If your closet could speak, what would it say? I blame the emails with the subject line “spring cleaning” that have been inundating my inbox as of late for putting this question on my radar. It also doesn’t bode well that recently, I can’t seem to pull anything out of my wardrobe without another item falling on me
— a telltale sign I’m one blazer away from sustaining a minor head injury.

In effect, I’ve reached the age — and the space capacity (thanks NYC), where I’ve decided it’s time to pare down my sartorial choices in an effort to simplify my life, boost my savings and create that elusive thing known as personal style.

Interning at a prestigious fashion magazine, I’m surrounded by impeccably dressed editors, and if I’ve gleaned anything from observing their style, it’s you don’t need a lot of clothes to look great — in fact,  quite the opposite. Ask me what their closets would say if they could speak and I could answer you in three words without flinching, but ask me about mine, and,  — multiple pauses would ensue. Not acceptable. Instead of embracing numerous trends and striving to never repeat the same outfit, they stick to a well-defined aesthetic that compliments their figures and personalities. For instance, skinny blue jeans with button-up shirts and pointy-toe stilettos, or black shift dresses punctuated by bold jewelry.

It seems the unspoken rule to carving out a signature “look” is to stick to a few colors and cuts, and not exceed two style personas, like feminine minimalist or boyish rocker. Hit repeat and you’re good as gold. And of course adding an on-trend accessory makes any outfit more au-courant.

You could argue that being 25, the time is now to experiment with looks and trends, but while I do shop at fast-fashion retailers, I gravitate towards high-quality, well-tailored garments with price tags to match. Given I don’t want to be in the red as I prepare to enter the work-force full time, streamlining my closet now is a no brainer.

To begin, I perform a wardrobe autopsy. Clearly I’m a fan of the colored skinny jean trend, but was it really necessary to buy them in so many colors? The same can be said for button-up blouses, colorful blazers and printed pants. Also, I need to stop buying skirts I can’t match with tops I already own — such a nuisance. Considering I hate how I feel when my jeans are too tight, the lesson here is I’ve got to enforce a strict quota on skinny styles and stick to the menswear cuts I’m more confident in.

When I break it down, I realize my favorite items are feminine dresses with clean silhouettes; not too tight yet still subtly sexy. Plain cashmere sweaters are another go-to, as are lightweight black blazers that can be worn under winter jackets. And when in doubt, I always turn to my trusted black leather pencil skirt. Leather in general is one of my greatest loves. Voila — I’m getting closer to completing my closet detox.

From this point forward I, Valeria Nekhim, do solemnly swear all future purchases (okay, almost all future purchases) will be made with careful attention to the knowledge I’ve garnered from the aformentioned autopsy report. Can I tell you what my style personality is just yet? No, although I’m leaning towards classic feminine mixed in with elements of rock ‘n’ roll’ and boyish prepster. Does that even make sense? At 25, I’m simply not there yet, nor can I part with enough clothing to mimic the sartorial aptitude of the fashionable women I aspire to dress like. One day I will though, because I’ll have the benefit of a getting a head start. In the meantime, I’ll settle for more space and less time spent on deciding what to wear — now that’s something.

Another 50 percent off steal — I know I won’t tire of this T By Alexander Wang leather sleeve varsity jacket. 

A curve hugging pencil skirt in a stretchy fabric by Canadian brand Judith & Charles can be worn for day and night and will never go out of fashion. This one’s my most recent closet addition following a trip to Ogilvy  in Montreal, and it definitely passes the test.  

March Madness: five NYC restaurants I’m drooling over this month

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If you’ve met me, you know I live for good food. Not unlike most New Yorkers, (yup, I just referred to myself as a New Yorker, I think a year and change living here grants me such a privilege) I peruse a restaurant’s menu well in advance and spend the entire day salivating. Likewise, I also plan my outfit accordingly (hello stretchy pants). However, unfortunately, or fortunately? I have the stomach of an 85 year-old, i.e., highly sensitive. I’m also a bit of a health nut, albeit one who believes in eating with complete abandon at least 10 percent of the time. All this to say, the restaurants below satisfy the perfect ratio of guilt-free to decadent — a combo we all need to hold us over till the first real signs of spring. What’s more, none of them will break the bank so you can still afford those ankle-strap heels you’ve been lusting after.

Yuzi-wasabi shrimp at Red Farm

1. Rosemary’s (Greenwich Village, no reservations unless group of six or more, seasonal Italian, rooftop garden, open all day everyday). Must try: chopped salad “Siciliana”; skirt steak; and brussels sprouts. 

2. The Smile (East Village, reservations accepted, American nouveau/traditional, open all day everyday). Must try: lamb meatballs; sauteed autumn vegetables with cranberry beans, green and yellow zucchini, house-made ricotta and fried egg; and roasted balsamic chicken served with lemon and thyme roasted red potatoes.

3. Red Farm (West Village, no reservations, modern chinese, dim sum, weekend brunch, dinner). Must try: yuzu-wasabi shrimp, steamed lobster dumplings and the three chili chicken.

4. Barmarché (Nolita, reservations accepted, American nouveau/Latin American, weekend brunch, dinner, happy hour). Must try: grilled corn bruschetta with crushed avocado, pecorino, cilantro and lime; and seared scallops with creamy corn, roasted jalapeno and balsamic reduction.

5. Café Select (Soho, reservations accepted, French/Swiss/Austrian/German, open all day everyday). Must try: Toblerone mousse (it’s outer-worldly!).

Texting etiquette: where’s Emily Post when you need her?

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I text, you text, heck — even my mom texts.  When it comes to the early stages of dating, I’ll choose texting over the phone any day — it’s casual, to the point, and I always sound so much wittier. I definitely don’t say “like” as much via text; my fifth grade teacher would be proud. However, the informality of texting is precisely what  I love and loathe about it. For instance, the other day, a guy canceled a date over text a mere hour prior. Sure it was peppered with apologies, but something tells me he would’ve shown up despite his “crazy day at work” if his only way of canceling was to pick up the phone and say sorry voice-to-voice. Thoughts? Discuss.

Why can’t we take advantage of the benefits of texting rather than using the medium as a means to act with an extra dose of disrespect? This isn’t only a dating issue, although that’s when it typically stings the most, but my friends, myself included (I know, even I make mistakes), are also guilty of texting-enabled rudeness. If you’re on the phone and you’re asked about your weekend plans, you can’t pretend you didn’t hear the question, but with texts you can reply days later, saying anything from: “my phone just turned off” (sometimes it does happen), to: “I saw your text, then got distracted by “x” and forgot to answer — oops, sooo sorry”.  Catch my drift? I realize it’s unrealistic (a gal can dream), to enact a set of dating texting rules so we can all loosen our death gripes on our phones, but next time you either don’t respond to a text, don’t respond within an appropriate time frame, cancel plans at the last minute (the list goes on), ask yourself: would I do this if texting wasn’t an option?

Lastly, I would love to hear your thoughts on how long is too long to reply to a text message. Two hours? six hours? One day? Is there even such a thing in today’s fast-paced, informal dating culture? What about with regards to friends or acquaintances? Side note: my next interaction with the “date-canceler” involved me having to wait over 24 hours for a response. Needless to say, I was pissed off. I know this is a contentious subject, and even I, with my OCD-type personality have been guilty of returning calls AND texts a day, or — gasp — two later. Does it count that I knew it was wrong, apologized, and I’ve only done it again five, maybe six times? I hope to hear from you, just don’t wait too long — whatever that means…

xoxo

Val

The perfect T-shirt at the perfect price — hallelujah

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While it’s unlikely Leonard Cohen’s infamous “Hallelujah” was an ode to the perfect T-shirt, it’s precisely the word that springs to mind when I think of my newfound favorite basics brand, Everlane. I mean, wouldn’t you jump for joy if you spent a mere $15 on a tee and the fit was as good as the ultra-soft feel?

The online only retailer succeeds in offering high-quality, meticulously-curated garments at affordable prices by cutting out wholesale middlemen and doing away with the operating costs of running a bricks and mortar store. Everlane partners with various factories the world over deemed the best in a particular domain, such as L.A. for tees. For women, (there’s men’s stuff too!), the product categories are silk blouses ($80); cashmere sweaters ($120-130); tees ($15) and terry-cloth sweatshirts ($40). There’s also accessories, including wool scarves ($65) and totes ($35). Each style is offered in only a few basic colors, and at these prices — they sell out fast.

The “His for Her” items are an absolute must if, like me, you’ve tried and failed miserably at finding the  boyfriend sweater that channels Parisian insouciance rather than your grandpa Hermie. I swear I feel noticeably more seductive when I put on my Men’s Cashmere Crew in emerald, or when I’m wearing the Men’s Crew  T-shirt under a fitted blazer. And when clothing can invoke such emotions — well, that’s just priceless n’est-ce pas?

My insanely soft Everlane The Men’s Cashmere Crew sweater  

Heart matters: understanding the elusive "spark factor"

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This year’s VALentine’s Day post is devoted to a topic, that while slightly cliche, has been perplexing me nonetheless. It’s a little something I like to call “the spark factor”, and my question to anyone listening, is how long should you date someone before “discarding” them into the no-spark-bin?

I bet if I asked 100 people, I’d get 100 different answers. Or better yet — I’d get twice — or thrice as many because of the dreaded  it-depends-scenarios tossed in for good measure. I would surely hear about the the gal who despised the guy at first, but he wouldn’t take no for an answer and months later they’re madly in love. Some might advise to keep dating if there’s even the faintest glimmer of a spark to see if fireworks might eventually develop, while others adhere to the theory that for a relationship to work, sparks must be instantaneous.

At the end of the day, I know myself best and personal experience dictates the magic number lays somewhere between two and four dates. There have been times where I only felt a slight connection on the first date, but after date two or three started to come down with can’t-eat-can’t-sleep-syndrome — otherwise known as really liking someone. Lately, however, I’ve been meeting guys whom I genuinely enjoy spending time with and whom I feel attracted to, but even after the fourth date, I don’t get that aforementioned jittery feeling. What I feel instead is confusion; one part of me thinks it will never work, while the other half is saying, give it a chance or you’ll risk missing out on something potentially great.

We live in an age of FOMO (fear of missing out), and romance is no exception. Conversely, we twenty-somethings lead immensely busy lives, where free time is a precious commodity. Personally, I don’t want to and can’t afford to waste time dating someone I’m just not that into. Like most matters in life, there’s no black and white solution to such conundrums. Still, what I’ve gleaned from recent situations is what works for me is to shut-off my brain and take a step back. As soon as I stopped obsessively thinking about why I wasn’t feeling that thing with the last guy I dated and took a mini-break from seeing him, I started to relax. Once relaxed, I was able to go on our fifth date with a positive attitude and a clear head. That’s when I realized that great as he is, something was amiss. The FOMO feeling had quelled and I had the certainty I desired.

The lesson here is matters of the heart rarely make sense and thinking about them too much makes everything worse and unnecessarily complicated. So how long should you keep dating someone before “discarding” them into the no-spark-bin? No one can answer that for you (sucks, right?), and the only way I can answer it for myself is by following my gut and ceasing all attempts at trying to find answers.

Winter beauty essentials: or how I survive the cold

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New flash: it’s winter in New York, and while it’s tempting to go into full-blown hibernation, it’s kiiind of not feasible for most of us.  That said, never has the saying “I get by without a little help from my  friends” felt more apropos. And any friend of mine should at minimum be introduced to you dear readers. Herewith, my latest winter beauty essentials. Bundle up.

xoxox

Val

My winter beauty bff’s 

1. Caudalie Vinosource S.O.S. Thirst Quenching Serum 

It’s not like I needed another reason to say “merci” to the French  (have you tried a Laduree’s macarons?), but Caudalie’s products are nothing short of fantastique. Harvesting the healing properties of organic grapes, the hypo-allergenic line is designed for those of us with sensitive skin. While I’ve been devoted to Caudalie’s gentle makeup remover and eye cream, I’ve only recently discovered the wonders of serum. A serum is to be applied after cleansing the face but before moisturizing — providing a little extra hydration and allowing moisturizer to absorb better. That, or it’s another clever marketing ploy I’ve succumbed to with no escape in sight. Jokes aside, I use it because it feels soooo good and I find it actually helps combat winter dryness and dullness. An added bonus is that it’s free of parabens, sulfates and phthalates.

2. CeraVe AM and PM moisturizing lotion.

If like me you suffer from dry skin that can sometimes veer into eczema territory, you should acquaint yourself with ceramides, i.e. a type of lipid that enables the skin to retain moisture. CeraVe products use ceramides and some fancy-pants patented controlled release MVE technology to essentially make dry skin a thing of the past. Recommended to me by my trusted dermatologist because it’s also ideal for sensitive skin, CeraVe gets the job done without feeling greasy — a complaint I had regarding Cetaphil.  It’s more cosmetically elegant if you will, and the AM lotion offers the added bonus of 30 SPF. I like to  buy the classic Moisturizing Lotion too (not AM or PM) and put it on my body (it’s cheaper). Together with the Hydrating Cleanser, I use these products year-round.

3. Johnson’s Baby Oil

Why should babies have all the fun? A little dab of this on your person post-shower, followed by some body lotion for an extra level of softness, and you and yours will be sending me hand-written thank-you notes in no time.

4. Bumble and Bumble Hairdresser’s Invisible Oil 

At last I have found a weapon to ward of winter-static for good. Pump a drop into your palms, rub, and smooth from roots to ends so that your hair will never know what season it is. If only everything else in life were this simple…

5. Bobbi Brown Illuminating Bronzing Powder in “Aruba”

Given my paleness, and in an effort to avoid deceiving anyone, I often end up opting out of wearing bronzer in the winter months. However, that paleness I speak of is also precisely why I ought to not  opt out of wearing bronzer this time of year. Enter Bobbi Brown’s Illuminating Bronzing powder. To quote the brand’s website, the secret lies in the “innovative blend of sheer powder and micro pearls” that combine to create “a seamless and sheer natural-looking glow”. Sample it and your local beauty counter and see for yourself; I’d love to hear your thoughts.