Family

Motherhood Update: Levi at Six Months

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Levi22weeks
Levi at 22 weeks in his activity center.

As I’m writing this Levi is almost six months. He’s becoming increasingly more social which makes playtime much more fun for us as parents. Levi’s also started laughing and making these hilarious bird-like noises which we mimic back to him much to his delight. He’s losing interest in his swing and keeps trying to pull himself up from his playmate. However, he enjoys his activity center and is fascinated by the trees and the sky. I place him by the window and he just stares out into our backyard. Free entertainment folks.

A couple of weeks ago he started rolling onto his side which made for a bit of a rough week sleep-wise because he would roll over and either get scared or uncomfortable and start to cry. Thankfully it passed, and now we get a kick out of seeing him fall asleep in the most awkward positions (the things that entertain us these days, oye!).

It’s been over two months since I’ve pumped breast milk and given it to Levi in a bottle (I don’t like pumping very much), and I’m getting a little worried he’s going to reject the bottle. I know I have to get on this asap, but I seriously enjoy holding him close to me while nursing him, while also being too lazy to pump. That said, the older he gets the more comfortable I’ll be leaving him for extended periods of time and I’m definitely going to want him to take a bottle of breastmilk or formula when I do.

In about one week we’re going to start offering him pureed food which I’m both nervous and excited for. It’s going to mean more work for mom and a lot more cleaning, but I’m looking forward to getting him started on his culinary journey. Hopefully he’ll be an adventurous eater just like his mommy!

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Why Everyday Should Be Don’t Forget About Mom Day

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Levi18weeks
Levi 18 Weeks

When you’re pregnant, everyone asks you how you’re feeling. People hold the door open for you and engage you in friendly banter. You’re showered with attention and it feels good. But then you give birth and — poof — just like that those same folks start caring less about you. A lot less. The baby is the focus of everyone’s attention, and rightfully so — babies need tons of attention. They’re fragile, new, and adorable. They also smell incredible. How can anyone, let alone a tired, rundown, and hormonal new mom compete with that?

But here’s the thing: please don’t forget about Mom. She needs you almost as much as the little baby. Her life has changed completely, and if she’s anything like me, chances are she sometimes feels anxious, lonely, and confused. She’s also tired. Really tired.

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On Banishing Mom Guilt Once and for All

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LEVI14WEEKS
Levi at 14 weeks.

I had heard a lot about mom guilt before having Levi, but hearing about it and experiencing it are two very different things. Prior to his birth, I promised to give myself time to adjust to motherhood without putting pressure on myself to be a full-time mom and still do all the things I was doing before. I’m referring to things like preparing home cooked meals, freelance writing, blogging, going to the gym regularly, etc. While I have been kinder to myself than usual (yay me!) given my type A personality, I still often find myself feeling bad/guilty about not doing certain things.

During my many walks with Levi I’ve been listening to the audio book version of Bringing up Bebe: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting by Pamela Druckerman. I highly recommend this funny, fresh, and insightful look at parenting in France, however, the reason I’m mentioning it now is because there’s an entire chapter dedicated to doing away with the dreaded mom guilt. French mothers are vigilant about not giving into it. They accept the fact they can’t do it all and that the perfect mother simply doesn’t exist. Consequently, a giant weight is lifted off their shoulders and they can approach motherhood with a greater sense of ease. In this regard, I absolutely want to be more like these women. I realize feeling guilty virtually all the time is unhealthy, and that it’s not beneficial to me or my family. You’d be surprised by the seemingly trivial things I’ve felt bad about these last couple of months (I assure you this is all true), and so now my hope is that by writing it out I will be more likely to stop feeling guilty about certain things.  Here’s to a relatively guilt-free 2018!

I will no longer feel guilty about:

1. Not making the bed everyday.

2. Going a full week without “cooking” anything beyond tuna melts, eggs, and maybe pasta if I’m feeling fancy.

3. Not always having a fully stocked fridge because I don’t want to spend my limited free time at the grocery store and don’t want to pay the pricey delivery fees every week.

4. Missing a workout, or two, or three.

5. Declining dinner with friends because I want to be in bed by 9p.m.

6. Wearing yoga pants daily.

7. Trolling social media while nursing. I made a resolution not to go on social media or text while breastfeeding but that was before I realized just how often I would be breastfeeding and that it’s actually the best time to catch up on my reading. In fact, following other moms on Instagram has been especially comforting as a new mom.

8. Politely declining visitors.

9. Politely declining sexual advances (occasionally)!

10. Sometimes feeling bored while playing with my baby even though I love him truly, madly, deeply.

11. Missing a wax, or two, or three.

12. Not breastfeeding for the full year because I want to go on a mini vacation with my husband sans baby this summer.

13. Letting my baby cry it out as part of sleep training for nighttime and naps. I’m doing it because I know that by learning how to self soothe he will have better quality sleep which will only benefit him.

14. Saying no to plans because of nap training and sleep training. I’m committed to making sure Levi gets the rest he needs.

15. Not being a perfect mom because such a thing does NOT exist.

XOXO

Val

New Mom Challenge: Sleep Deprivation

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Levi11weeks
Levi at 11 weeks. This boy has stolen my heart… and my sleep. 

Never ask a mom of a newborn if her baby’s sleeping through the night as hearing this question will only remind her how tired she is. And for God’s sake please don’t tell a new mom she looks tired, even if your intention is to acknowledge her plight. The truth is I knew I would be tired the first few months of Levi’s life, I  just didn’t realize all the emotions and challenges that would arise from being in a constant state of sleeplessness.

The first month of Levi’s life he essentially ate every two hours and slept whenever he wasn’t nursing. The constant breastfeeding was tiring and took some getting used to, however, because he was sleeping so much and fell asleep so easily — it was easy for me to nap while he napped. This was crucial for me at this point and I was diligent about it. Of course, it must be said I had hired help cleaning the house a couple times a week and family members bringing us dinner and fetching our groceries. If not I definitely would’ve been more tired. Still, the combination of hormones and a lack of sleep during this first month definitely made me more prone to bouts of crying for seemingly no reason. I would snap at David only to burst into tears and apologize moments later. It wasn’t exactly fun.

Once Levi turned six weeks, a new challenge arose: it became harder to get him down for naps and for nighttime sleep. Suddenly I was way more tired than I had ever been in my life because not only was I  sleeping less overall, but I was exerting more energy trying to get him to sleep. This included endless walks around the neighborhood. Want to know how I lost the baby weight? I literally walked for hours everyday. What’s more, when he wouldn’t go down for hours at a time I would get stressed and anxious which only made it harder for me to fall asleep for naps and at night.

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New Motherhood Challenge: Finding Balance While Breastfeeding

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LEVIINBATH
This face though…Levi at 9 weeks.

I  knew that breastfeeding can be quite painful at first, and I had heard many stories about moms who had difficulties due to a poor latch or low milk supply. Fortunately, Levi latched on immediately and my supply was sufficient. Any pain I felt also went away after about the first week. What I’ve been finding tough about breastfeeding is how big of a commitment it is.

For the first month or so I felt I was nursing non-stop. While I loved having Levi snuggled up so close, feeding on demand was exhausting both during the day and especially at night. It also tied me down making it hard to leave him for more than an hour. The lactation consultants tell you to wait at least three weeks before introducing a bottle of expressed milk so it was only three weeks after his birth that I felt comfortable enough to leave his side to go for a quick dinner with David. That night it felt like I was re-discovering the world for the first time.

If you’ve been following my blog, you probably read about the big mistake I made with regards to nursing when I went too long without breastfeeding or pumping during the night. I thought I could pump in the morning and have David give Levi a bottle at night so I could get more consecutive hours of sleep. Turns out, when you’re not able to physically nurse your baby you have to pump around the same time so as not to diminish your milk supply. This was a tough pill to swallow for me; how was I to get any relief at night? Thats when it really sunk in just how big a commitment breast feeding can be.

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Motherhood Monday: Levi’s Birth Story and Other Musings From a New Mom

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LEVIFIRSTPHOTO
Levi Alden Lease’s second photo (the first is very bloody). 

Hiiiii,

I cannot believe my baby is six weeks old today! Time definitely flies when you’re busy with a newborn. For those of you who don’t know, our son, Levi Alden Lease was born on November 6 at 3:09 p.m, weighing six pounds and six ounces. I could’ve sworn we were having a girl but I’m so excited to be raising this delicious little man. He’s named for David’s maternal grandmother, Leatrice, and my paternal grandfather Leonid, while his middle name is in honor of David’s maternal grandfather, Albert.

Levi was born via an unplanned C-section because at the last moment the doctors saw he was breech. I pleaded with them to do a vaginal birth (I’ve heard some really bad C-section recovery stories) but they told me because I was 5cm dilated and had already received an epidural — there was no other option. FYI: once the contractions startedthey were so painful I begged for the epidural even though before I went into labour I thought maybe, just maybe I could do without it (I couldn’t).

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Boy or Girl? Some Thoughts on Gender

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davidandari2
How adorable is my husband David and his younger sister Ariel? 

I can’t believe that in about three weeks we will finally meet our baby! As you know we have decided not to find out the gender until the big day. People often ask me if this has been challenging, but it honestly hasn’t been.

I would’ve decorated the nursery the exact same way because I’m not a big fan of anything too girly and because I want the room to feel like an extension of the rest of our home. I also like to plan ahead, and, depending on when we have a second child (we definitely know we want to have at least two kids) there’s a big chance our second baby will be using most of the same furniture, or taking over the room entirely. And while some moms-to-be can’t wait to buy gender specific baby clothes, I for one love white and grey outfits on tiny tots and had no problem buying a few items now, and waiting to get the rest after baby’s arrival.

But decor and clothing aside, David and I couldn’t be more excited for the big gender reveal, and above all — to meet our (pray to god) healthy baby. That said, I do have some thoughts on having a boy versus having a girl. Since we may have two kids total, I think it would be an ideal scenerio to have one of each and then close up shop. However, I love having an older sister, and I think the bond shared between two siblings of the same sex is so special (provided they can push sibling rivalry aside). Conversely, my husband is a big brother who has always looked out for his younger sister, and so the thought of having a boy and then a girl melts my heart (I’m very emotional these days mind you). FYI: a boy first followed by a girl is his personal preference.

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Motherhood Resolutions

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Pregnancy35weeksEDIT
This is #35weeks

Hi!

I always like to reflect on the year that passed and make resolutions for the year ahead around the time of the Jewish New Year. It’s usually celebrated in September or October and coincides with the start of the scholastic year. It just makes  more sense to me to do it around this time rather than in late December/January.

Given I’m 35 weeks pregnant (holy sh*t!) pretty much most of my thoughts are centered around pregnancy, labor/delivery, and motherhood. I’m not sleeping much  due to a combination of heartburn, muscle spasms, side pains, and having to pee every hour on the hour (oh how I love being pregnant!) so I’ve had even more time to ruminate. Lucky me. Needless to say, I’ve been giving a lot of thought to what kind of woman I want to be as I prepare to add mother to my resume, and below are some of my new year’s “resolutions” if you will.

  1. During baby’s first couple of months, I will NOT, I repeat, I will NOT put pressure on myself to get much done other than keeping baby alive and relatively happy.
  2. I will not let my pride prevent me from asking for help if and when I need it.
  3. I will not Text/Instagram/Facebook/Snapchat while nursing (at least until I get the hang of it and even then only on rare occasions).
  4. I will not post more than one Instagram story per day of me cooing at my adorable baby.

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Do This With Your Partner Before Baby

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babypicEDIT
Headed to a wedding at #29weeks

Hola from Orlando. I’m currently 30 weeks pregnant and we’re  in Orlando with our family in an effort to hide from Hurricane Irma. I’m feeling grateful my due date is two months away and praying for the health and safety of my family and friends.

Week 29 marked a turning point in my pregnancy. My heartburn got more fierce, and I started to experience pain in my pelvic region. I described it to my husband as feeling like someone punched me in the crotch and left me all bruised up. TMI? Consequently, I listened to my body and stopped going to my beloved dance cardio classes because it’s too much jumping and too high intensity for me to handle right now. Last week even prenatal yoga felt like too much, however, this week I was able to handle a barre class and I’ve started swimming which I should’ve done a long time ago because it’s so wonderful while pregnant.

In other news, we attended a birthing/parenting class at our synagogue which included an hour long session entitled: from partners to parents. An amazing clinical social worker by the name of Amy Small talked to us about the inevitable transition we’d be experiencing and I thought one exercise was particularly helpful. She had the spouses sit across from one another and instructed us to take turns telling our significant other the things we expect from them as a parent. Each person got three minutes to speak (no interruptions allowed), and when they were finished the other person had to repeat everything back to them and ask if they’d missed anything.

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Musings From a Nervous Mama-To-Be

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Babybump24
And we’re off to a Dance Body Class. This is #24weeks

Okay, yes I’m super excited to welcome a baby into our lives, but guess what — I’m also scared and nervous. Our lives are about to change in a major way, and even though I’m 99.99 percent confident it will be for the better, I’m also human, and this human has her fears/worries. It also doesn’t help that I’m generally an anxious person with a fair share of OCD tendencies (perfect storm anyone?).

That being said, I have read personal accounts of peoples’ anxiety improving since  becoming parents because the experience helped them gain perspective they were previously lacking. After all, how can you worry about whether you picked the right curtains, or if your last review was poorly written when you have a tiny human life to protect??!! I certainly hope I fall into this category of folks. In my dreams I’m a zen mama, but so far I haven’t been a particularly zen mama-to-be so lets see how that goes. I like to aim high.

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