Boy or Girl? Some Thoughts on Gender

How adorable is my husband David and his younger sister Ariel? 

I can’t believe that in about three weeks we will finally meet our baby! As you know we have decided not to find out the gender until the big day. People often ask me if this has been challenging, but it honestly hasn’t been.

I would’ve decorated the nursery the exact same way because I’m not a big fan of anything too girly and because I want the room to feel like an extension of the rest of our home. I also like to plan ahead, and, depending on when we have a second child (we definitely know we want to have at least two kids) there’s a big chance our second baby will be using most of the same furniture, or taking over the room entirely. And while some moms-to-be can’t wait to buy gender specific baby clothes, I for one love white and grey outfits on tiny tots and had no problem buying a few items now, and waiting to get the rest after baby’s arrival.

But decor and clothing aside, David and I couldn’t be more excited for the big gender reveal, and above all — to meet our (pray to god) healthy baby. That said, I do have some thoughts on having a boy versus having a girl. Since we may have two kids total, I think it would be an ideal scenerio to have one of each and then close up shop. However, I love having an older sister, and I think the bond shared between two siblings of the same sex is so special (provided they can push sibling rivalry aside). Conversely, my husband is a big brother who has always looked out for his younger sister, and so the thought of having a boy and then a girl melts my heart (I’m very emotional these days mind you). FYI: a boy first followed by a girl is his personal preference.

Butttttttt, when I watch my niece helping care for her little brother, I become very enamored by the idea of having a girl then a boy. C’mon, who doesn’t need a little extra help? What’s more, there’s part of me that thinks if my first born is a girl I’ll have an easier time making a connection because what the hell do I know about little boys?  I’m sure I’ll figure it out quickly enough and my husband will be there of course, but it’s nonetheless a thought that passes through my mind.

One scenario I can’t wrap my head around: having two boys! Two girls is familiar territory, but the thought of myself with two boys is hard to picture if I’m being completely candid. Plus, I feel I need to have at least one girl to pass all of my hard earned female wisdom onto. I have so much to share! So David if you’re reading this: if we have two boys there’s a good chance we may have to try for a third. But then oh god if I end up with three boys… Do you guys see the dilemma?

If like us you plan on not finding out the sex of your baby, be prepared for everyone around you to have a strong opinion about the gender. Interestingly enough, I’ve noticed most older adults (age fifty plus) have been predicting it’s a boy. I wonder if this is because given their personal experiences they believe life is easier for men, and by saying they think it’s a boy what they really mean is they hope it’s a boy. In some ways I would have to agree that in many aspects life is still lot easier for men which is a disheartening thought for future mothers of daughters.

Is it wrong of me to talk about gender in this way given our current social climate? Am I letting outdated gender stereotypes guide my thoughts? My daughter could be a total tomboy and we could have hardly anything in common, or my son could want to become a girl. These are all possibilities and I’m grateful to be living in a time when we can even have this conversation. What do you guys think? I would love to get your thoughts on this topic. In the meantime, I’ll be here, impatiently waiting for this little human to make their debut because mama’s prettyyyyy uncomfortable right now.




One thought on “Boy or Girl? Some Thoughts on Gender

  1. perfecct thinking–so true. having children of both sexes is certainly ideal, but ideal does not mean it is the best for everyone. I loved my sister (nolonger with us) and we shared so many things together. Having a boy and then a girl, does not always work out in a loving way. Soooo, take what you are given and share what you can with all your children. Much love, nana/gg to be


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